Love is like a butterfly

Love is like a butterfly, they say its beautiful I say its the most beautiful thing, its beauty is enormous it makes you glow, even without the best clothes and make up on, you still glow.

Love its like a butterfly,its bright and colourful, its so bright and intense everyone else except you can see it.

Love is like a butterfly, it growth is magical, it never really looks like it. It starts with a smile and grows into a romantic relationship.

Love is like a butterfly its rare and gentle, you never see it coming and it makes your heart feel strange

Love is like a butterfly it guards its territory jealously and chases people who may try to stray into them

Love its like a butterfly, it feeds on our emotions and must be nurtured with respect, trust, kindness, patience and selflessness

Love is like a butterfly. Its full of interest, lively and exciting. It makes you want to try new things. With love your emotionally irresponsible because you live without rules

Its never too late to go back to being you

Its never too late to be who you were created to be, if you haven't discovered who you were created to be, its never too late to be who you want to be. Sit for a minute and reminisce on who you wanted to when you were 5 years old, a princess, superman, the president ...... name it . At that age we were all young, innocent and free. we didn't think of all the reasons why we cant be who we want to be, but we still had those dreams anyway. At the age of 10 some of those dreams started to changed, things started to shift and the picture became clearer.  Even as we grew into adolescence those dreams changed again. At every stage of our lives we wanted to be something different. Growing into adult age one of the two happens, its either we actualize our dreams or we settle for what ever life throws at us. Its never too late to be who you wanted to be at 5, 10 or even now. Its never too late to get that education, its never too late to loose that weight, its never too late to start that business, its never too late to write that book .......its never too late to go back to being you. If that dream still wakes you up in the middle of the night then you probably should get up and go for it. There's no need being someone else when you know who you want to be.
I saw this video of an 80 year old woman who quit on her dreams many years ago and got married, so many years after she lost her husband she still had the passion to dance and she went back to take dance classes and this lead to a whole new life for her. That video inspired this topic because considering her age and dancing, I couldn't imagine a woman of her age doing all that. But you know you can never be too young or too old for who you want to be. Something changed her focus along the way, but when it was time she knew it was time and she hurried back to it. What you want to be might not earn you the kind of money you want, but one thing am sure it gurantees is fulfillment. what is life with fulfillment? the answer is NOTHING.
"ITS NEVER TOO LATE- NEVER TOO LATE TO START OVER, NEVER TOO LATE TO BE HAPPY." -Jane Fonda

The reason your still thinking about your Ex

Break ups are hard and some of us have been through the painful process of trying to heal. Waking up in the morning and realizing that, that one person you once shared your dreams with, your time and aspirations is no longer in your life. This realization can be very devastating and I understand. Some people are strong enough to realize its over and move on, but unfortunately some people don't know how to and this healing process can be painful and might take a while. But the truth is unconsciously  a lot of people are not completely over their Ex. Living in the past is hard especially with how fast the world is evolving, you want to be anything but in the past, when everybody else is moving on and getting along with their new job or new relationship. Thinking about your Ex can be as a result of one of the reasons below

• Relationship closure: Some relationships end without a proper good bye and this can be hard. Its hard for a loved one to walk away without saying goodbye or without at least saying what went wrong. This can be very hard, leaving you in a state of " Oh my God, where did I go wrong" trust me I have experienced that and because of that your left thinking about all the reasons why they could have left. You can move on even after a relationship with out closure. This is what I do, might not be the best advice but I will give it anyways. To hell with the person, if they feel comfortable walking out of your life without a goodbye or an explanation they are not worth occupying your thoughts and making you feel less of yourself. You deserve better, trust me.
• You hate being alone: I think time is the most valuable resource every human being has. After spending a reasonable amount of time with someone, and after all that investment, you probably scared of being alone. You can deal with this by finding yourself, finding a part of you that your comfortable with, a part of you that makes you tick. That way your comfortable being alone and you can stop thinking about your Ex. Love yourself that much, to love being alone.
• Best thing ever: Your still thinking about your Ex because you think he/she is the best thing since sliced bread, then maybe you need to try Hawaiian Tropicana pizza. Think about it this way, if he was that great why did the relationship end. There must have been a reason for the break up. You may have forgotten over time but if you constantly remind yourself why it ended then maybe you will think less of how great you think he was.
• Regrets: Regrets are one of the reasons why your still thinking about ur Ex. Whenever you have regrets about how a relationship ended, whenever you wish you could have done something different, you will always be stuck in your past, because everyday your hoping for a chance with him/her to do something differently. No need to brood over bad decisions, like I will always say its ok to make them. Because you will learn something. I call it filling up your trunk of mistakes. Once you learn enough you don't have to make them again. Stop hoping for a chance to do things right because that might never happen, but what is going to happen is you have a chance to do things differently in your next relationship. 

Why do I have to start from somewhere?

Bill Gates one of the richest men in the world, put up this throw back picture of himself at his first job. This picture made me appreciate growth and how far he has come and how much of a blessing he is to humanity. Bill Gates is one of the most important men in the world and looking back that he started with a job. We have to crawl before we can walk. Appreciate how far you have come, don't be afraid to take up the next challenge, have a goal but if you don't have one yet, have a direction. Worry less about how your going to get there. If you put everything in place and work at it, you will eventually. we worry too much about how we are going to get there, but thats not our problem to worry about. Spend most of your time on self discovery, purpose, goal identification and visualizing where you want to be. Identify your strengths and weaknesses, exploit your strengths and protect your weakness. Its like embarking on a journey. Buy a ticket, park your bags, show up at the airport or the bus station. How the plane takes off, auto pilots itself and lands shouldn't bother you.

I am not a morning person........What do i do?

You are not at your best in the mornings. you go to bed very elated and happy and you wake up virtually every morning feeling low, grumpy and inactive. Nobody wants to wake up next to you because of how your mood makes them feel. You feel very lazy to pray and you don't want to talk to anybody when you wake up. You don't know why you feel this way but you do anyways. You start feeling better towards noon because morning is almost over. I understand sometimes we wake up on the wrong side, but thats not what am talking about. Am talking about people who never wake up right. If your the one am talking about here, below are some tips that can help your kick start your day feeling happy and energetic. Regardless of whether you feel this way, this tips will help you too. 

·     1. Get up :Once you wake up in the morning, i mean once your eyes are open or your alarm goes off, get up right away. Staying in bed when your awake will make you feel grumpy.

2  2. Water :Drink a glass of water, this helps your metabolism and makes you feel better.

3  3. Use the toilet every morning: This is important. The feeling is out of this world, if you know what i mean .......lol. Anyways it makes you feel lighter and ready to go on with your daily activities. Trust me its a good way to start your day.

4  4. Exercise :Work out every chance you get, especially if your not a morning person. Morning work out is a healer. Everyday you work out you feel better, healthier and stronger  than the day before.

5  5.Something exciting : Do something or have something exciting to look up to. If you hate your job, your most likely to wake up grumpy. But since you haven't figured out whether to quit or not. Having something exciting to look up to will definitely make you feel better. Something exciting can be anything. It doesn't have to be something big, it could be as simple as your favourite mama put spot or watching a new movie or even the girl you met after work the day before.

I     Trust me you cant go wrong with following this steps every other day, hope you feel better every morning...

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This has to be the most powerful quotes I have read

Words are very powerful and we should never under-estimate them. Below are ten powerful quotes that will give you a better understanding of life

1."Your excuses might be legit, but they won't improve your life". - Grant Cardone

2."To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing" - Elbert Hubbard

3."Most human being aint as real as they pretend to be". - Chamillonaire

4."You wont have a successful life surrounded by negative people" - Grant Cardone

5."Go the extra mile, there's no one on it" - Grant Cardon

6."Happiness lies in the joy of achievment and the thrill of creative efforts" - Franklin D. Roosevelt

7.One of the things about being a grown up is learning how to act right even when you feel wrong" - Sean Stewart

8."If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything". - Mark Twain

9."Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command" - Alan Watts"

10."Nothing is a waste of time, if you use the experience wisely" - Rodin

Social media madness

So I came across this video and I want to share, because I am so guilty of this and hope all you guilty people out there can learn and be more careful...

Denial the beginning of the end.......3 steps on how you can rise above denial

Denial they say is an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, past experiences, thoughts or feelings. But think of it, how unconscious is denial. I say denial is most of the time conscious and many people are aware of the fact that they are living in denial. If you spend your life denying you have a problem, you will end up denying yourself a life. Three steps on how you can stand tall and raise your head above denial.

1. Acceptance: Acceptance is the first step, which is coming in terms with reality and accepting your situations or feelings. When we embrace our mistakes or realities, it puts us in a state of humility and positions us to forge ahead. Only in a state of humility can we accept our mistakes. Life is not a bed of roses, it doesn't need a permission slip to take you up and make you feel good, and neither does it inform you its bringing you back down. It causes you to do things you shouldn't do and sometimes it makes you make steps in the wrong direction.Its okay to make mistakes, what is not okay is letting those mistakes define who you are. Things are going to go wrong, most of the time they don't happen the way we plan. Sometimes the problem is not the things that happen, but the picture of whats in our head. We accept we make mistakes sometimes, but most times we don't. The worst thing that can happen is not accepting your mistakes because this leaves you in a state of denial.

2. Forgiveness: This step is very important, you know why? Because you are your rescue, only you can raise yourself from denial. After you have embraced your mistakes and painful realities, its time to forgive yourself. Stop reminding yourself you could have done things differently. If you cant forgive yourself you cant move on from the pain. Forgive yourself, accept that your human, get up, dust of the pain and move on. One way to know you have forgiven yourself is when you can freely talk about the mistake or pain.

3. Moving on by taking responsibility: Being in denial is a part to self destruction, destroying your ability to move on from what has held you down for so long. Don't make excuses for yourself, don't make excuses why that business failed, don't make excuses why that relationship failed, don't tell yourself its not that bad. Accept that it is that bad, so what! Moving on with no regrets and realizing its not the end of the world is the final step to liberation. Stand up and take responsibilities for your actions.
Acceptance, forgiveness and taking responsibility are 3 ways you can rise above the destruction called denial.

When you finally meet your crush...

This has to be the cutest video ever. So a video about Mila a 3 year old goes viral, she heard her crush Adam Levine got married, she cried so hard, her mum made a video of it and posted on youtube. Well she made it to Ellen show and finally got to meet her crush. We all had that one Celebrity crush, mine was Thierry Henry....if only I ever got to meet him. Press play to watch the video

How to keep him attracted..........

Keeping a man attracted is a skill and you can learn it. You can consciously work at it and make it a life style. There are many ways of keeping him attracted but I will only talk about a few

1. Show Confidence: Confidence is sexy and men find it very attractive. If you want to keep him attracted you have exhibit confidence. Show him that your happy being who you are, not someone who is constantly waiting for him to fill the void in your life. Show confidence in your appearance, even during a conversation.

2. Display Intelligence : Men love smart women. Really nobody wants to be with an air head. You have to always show him there's something up there. Start intelligent conversations with him, tell him whats happening in the news, tell him about the wonderful ideas you've had lately, tell him about that new book you read lately, tell him the problem you creatively solved at work. Intelligent women attract men, so even if your not you can act like one to keep him attracted.

3. Show him your fun: Fun I mean the kind of fun men like. Try doing things he loves doing, watch soccer, try learning how to play FIFA, play poker. Go out with him and engage in the fun thing he loves. Don't make him watch Telemundo and Enews all the time.

4. Be mysterious : When I say mysterious I don't mean in a bad way. Be like a gift wrapped, sitting and waiting to be unwrapped. Let him discover you. Don't go on and on about the things you like and the things you don't. There's no need for all the details about your Ex's. Let things unfold gradually. Too much information about your life at the same time is unattractive.

5. Always look like a million bucks: Okay I don't mean going out of your way to look good, but you have to wear what he likes. Anyone notice the way Kim Kardashian dresses before Kanye and after Kanye is different. I remember one episode of kuwtk she said Kanye threw away all her denim pants. Also you have to were what your comfortable with irrespective, but always look charming and sexy. Also men are very picky with hairstyles, try switching to what he likes, trust me they love it. Don't forget to wear nice under wears, pick nice flashy colours like fuchsia pink, red, men are visual so you want to be bright with them.

Still hiding in your comfort zone?

Great things happen beyond your comfort zone. Leaving your comfort zone can be hard and I know this for sure. This made me defer furthering my education twice because I was too scared to leave my comfort zone. We are always waiting for the right time to do things but there's never really a right time for anything. We all have been at this stage at some point in our lives and some still are. With all the uncertainties out there leaving your comfort zone can be a very huge step to make. Your comfort zone is where you feel safe, where you are and no body can notice all the things going wrong in your life, except you. Leaving your comfort zone might be the key to unlocking the hidden treasures out there, waiting to be discovered. Leaving your comfort zone can help you discover your self, it can put you under pressure, and this can be the birth of a new talent , skill, music, career, business idea and more. I found an article on three steps to successfully get out of your comfort zone. Find it attached below

1. Rediscover your motivation. We all have a grand vision of who we want to be and what we want to achieve. It is this vision that pushes us forward, gives us courage to take risks, and makes us strong during difficult times.

The motivation we get from our vision has taken us this far, but the feeling lost some of its strength in the way. We became comfortable and settled for whats good instead of pushing for greatness.

We need our vision to be strong again. Go ahead, dream once more, revisit your grand vision, remember the person you want to be, the things you want to achieve, and the people you want to be around. By going back to your vision you’ll find the drive and passion to take the first step out of your comfort zone.

2. Manage risk. We resist leaving our comfort zone because there are risks involved. Things might go wrong and we are afraid of the negative “what ifs”. To overcome this fear and minimize potential problems we are going to identify and manage these risks.

First, find out what are the real risks. What are the worst case scenarios of taking a small step out of your comfort zone? Once you know this, spend some time thinking of ways you could minimize them. Many times we can take some preventive measure that would significantly reduce our risk. Finally, prepare a contingency plan in case the worst case scenarios indeed happen. In other words, have an action plan in case things do go wrong.

This three step risk management strategy -Identify, minimize, prepare- will help you reduce the anxiety of taking action.

3. Start small and correct as you go. There is magic in taking the first step, even if it’s a small step. It’s time you stop thinking about leaving your comfort zone and start doing it.
We tend to wait until we are certain before we take action. Some of us fall into the category of Eternal planners, we won’t make a move until we have thought out every possibility. It’s very unlikely that we will ever finish this perfect plan so we end up never making a move.

You don’t need to know every detail, you can always course correct after you’ve taken action. It is more valuable to be in motion, pushing forward, making mistakes and then course correcting than to stand in the sidelines motionless. This is what high achiever do, they get started even if they aren’t entirely prepared and make corrections as they go. What they don’t accept is not trying.

Every time we chose safety we reinforce fear and make it harder to leave our comfort zone. But if we do take those small calculated risks and succeed, it becomes easier to keep doing it. One success leads to another. Take that small first step then, don’t worry, we already identified the risks and prepared for the worst case scenario. 

Source: www.pickthebrain.com

Five lessons I learnt from past relationships

Some things in life can only be learnt from experience. Every relationship has something to give you, something to take from you and also something to teach you. Sometimes its learnt the hard way. Five things I learnt from past relationships

1. Pain changes people try not to hurt them: Pain is a distressing feeling and every time you hurt your partner, they not only get hurt. They tend to change after the pain is gone. They get stronger and stronger and the way they treat you and react to things that concerns you changes. This is what pain does to you. Cheating on your partner or disrespecting them causes deep emotional pain. They forgive you and if this becomes a routine, it gets to the point where they become immune to the things you do. You wake up one morning and you realize they don't care anymore.
2. People change : People change and there's nothing you can do about it. People tend to change especially when they get comfortable. Even you change. One minute you think you just met the most amazing guy on planet earth and the next minute your asking "where did he go" ,what happened? Nothing happened Honey! Sometimes people change in reaction to what we do, but most times they just change anyway and you cant blame yourself for that. Instead of sitting around asking why? You grow up and move on.
3. You don't know the value of what you have till its gone : We cherish what we value but after having that thing for a while it becomes normal. Not like you don't cherish it anymore, but it just becomes a part of you and at that point the value begins to drop. For instance you wont intentionally drop your i -phone 6 in a bucket of water because you cherish it, but you use it long enough it becomes normal you hardly even change the pouch. This is what happens in relationships, he or she becomes normal you don't cherish them as much, until they are gone.
4. People take you for granted when they know how you truly feel : This happens all the time, when people know how you feel they tend to play with that part of you. Am not a pro in hiding my emotions, but I try to keep it in check. When he knows your always going to forgive him, he keeps doing it anyways, not because he doesn't care, but because he knows he can get away with it. You love him too much for that and he knows.
5. Being possessive is not a sign of Love : I really want you to understand the point am trying to make here. He calls you every minute of the day doesnt mean love, he follows you every where is not a sign of love. He doesnt let your phone ring is not love, he never lets you travel is not love. Thats Selfishness, Love is not Selfish. I mistook this for love for so long. Until I felt a different version. I see a lot of people talk about this and appropriate it with love. Love is anything but Selfish.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving

Canadian Thanksgiving is a holiday in Canada, which celebrates the harvest and blessings of the past year. This is a day Canadians thank God for all the blessings the previous year brought to them as a nation.  This usually occurs annually on the second Monday in October. I followed my curiosity and did a little research on the history of this Thanksgiving. This is what I found.

Martin Frobisher an Explorer from England set out from England in search of the North West Passage . He had a lot of challenges on his way . His journey was plagued by ice and storm which eventually lead to the loss of one of his ships. He finally arrived Newfoundland a large island in the Atlantic Ocean off the east coast of Canada in 1578.  Mayster Wolfall a preacher made a sermon and told them to be thankful to God for delivering them from dangerous places. Martin Frobisher gave thanks for his safe arrival. This was how the Thanksgiving tradition started in Canada. For a few hundreds of years, Thanksgiving was celebrated either on late October or late November in Canada. On 31^st 1957 the Canadian Parliament announced that on the second Monday in October, Thanksgiving will be celebrated and it will be a general holiday Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed.

Source: Wikipedia.org

Ten things you should do before you die

Thinking of the fact that there's no return ticket to this world when your gone. I encourage everyone to enjoy it will it lasts. Do something new and go some place new. Draw up a list of things you want to do before you die. Don't just leave them in your imagination, but it down on paper, trust me when you do, they become more real. I have a couple of suggestions. Ten things you should do before you die.

1. Live happily ever after: You don't want to die without finding the man or woman of your dreams, trust me.

2. Attend a music concert: Never been to one before, but I know how fun this can be. Put that on your bucket list and make sure you go for one before you die. One of my dreams is to attend Beyonce's music concert before I die.

3. Go on an African Safari: I went to the zoo once when I was a kid and it was awesome. The Safari is beautiful and I recommend you go on one

4. Go Sky Diving: If you have the guts to do this, am sure it will be so much fun......lol

5. Live in a different country: I think this is something you want to do before you die. Even for a short while is perfect, explore a different culture, make new friends, eat new foods and take advantage of the opportunity that comes with diversity.

6. Attend the World Cup: Am definitely going to do this......you should too

7. Prepare a package for the homeless : This is something you want to make a lifestyle, not a one off. This is a very fulfilling experience

8. Swim with a Dolphin: Dolphins are highly social animals and am sure you will have lots of fun chilling with them

9. Go on a Cruise: You don't wanna die without doing this.......

10. Ride a Gondola in Venice Italy : I was a little bit biased about this one, because its one of my dream honey moon destination place

My iphone is ruining my life..

Phubbing is when you disregard someone in the favour of your phone. This is very common these days, due to the fact that social media has gone crazy and you can virtually get anything done over the phone. Am of the opinion that this has ruined a lot of relationships. This has made a lot of relationship unhealthy, leaving your partner insecure, angry and uncared for.
So, what should you do if your being a phubber? According to Joanne Davila if your being a phubber then you should stop, but this is not easy at all. Being aware of the needs of your partner and making conscious effort to satisfy them is helpful to reduce phubbing. Also by taking a mutual approach and putting yourself in your partners shoes for a minute can help you realize how rude and unhealthy phubbing is. A recent study has shown that people who attend to their cell phones in the presence of their partner are less satisfied in their relationships (Robert & David, 2015). Phone snubbing.. are you guilty?

The Roaring Twenties....

So this topic was inspired by Joey Wells, one of the plastic cup boys at Kevin Hart's show I attended last night. With so much humour he said, if your in your Twenties make some noise. And the noise was enormous, from every corner of the hall I heard people scream on top of their voices. And he said you guys are the luckiest people in this place. My heart starts to race thinking we are going to get a thanks for coming package.........lol. And he said this is the best time of your life. I was still trying to understand that. He said this is the peak of your lives, the most useful and fun times of your life. The most energetic and most likely the time you will be most healthy in your life. And he goes on and on to make jokes about it. I sat there, being in my twenties made me realize this was the best time of my life, with a huge smile on my face, I made a decision to stay happy. Your twenties are probably the only time to make mistakes that can easily be corrected, a time being spontaneous never really goes wrong, a time you can eat anything and get away with it. I realized how important my twenties were and that it was a one off and decided to enjoy it and be happy no matter the odds. Why spend your twenties unhappy? your never going to get a change to be in your twenties again, this is a time to live your  life and explore. Try new things, go to new places, do something you have never done before. In my early twenties, I was adventurous, energetic, spontaneous, a few years down the line, I was a different person because the movie called "The Roaring Twenties" was gradually coming to an end. A wise man once said " Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed in the things you didn't do, than the things you did do". Dare to dream, dare to explore, dare to discover. No other time in your life will be like your twenties, make the most of it.

A little something to start your day with....

1.Be humble enough to Thank God for waking you up every morning, its not a right, its a privilege

2. Plan your day and work towards it. Riches don't respond to wishes. They respond to plans and a burning desire to make it happen

3. Be kind, help a total stranger today and be kind always

Can you be sexually faithful & emotionally unfaithful?

beliefnet.com

The answer is Yes, and let me explain. Being faithful is not about being sexually faithful , its about being emotionally faithful. Being emotionally hooked on one person. Its possible to be emotionally hooked with more than one person. Social media has given rise to the concept of emotional affair. Your having an emotional affair when you spend a huge amount of time talking with that person, your having an emotional affair when you dress up for that person to work or church, your having an emotional affair when you hide the amount of time you spend calling and texting the person, your having an emotional affair when you start telling the person about the problems in your relationship, your having an emotional affair when you confide in the person instead of your partner. The list is endless. Also it is possible to be emotionally faithful and sexually unfaithful, they are really two sides of a coin. Emotional cheating....Are you guilty?

What kind of Ex are you?

You just found out your Ex is getting married. How would you react?

1. Call him or her to say congratulations and to let them know how happy you are for them
2. Call your best friend who knew all about your past relationship and reminisce on how he or she was the worst boyfriend or girlfriend ever
3. Your surprised and you sit home all day brooding and wishing you beat him or her to it
4. Send an anonymous message to the wife to be or husband to be, spilling dirt about them

Well for me I have been a number 2 kinda Ex before.....What kind of Ex are you

Step back and find a new perspective

After you have tried all you can to change the situation of things around you, trying to change your perspective can be a not too obvious way of changing things around you. Turn things upside down a little bit and see how it looks from another angle. Look at that failed relationship from another angle and you might just realize how happy you are without him or her, look at the termination of that job from another angle and you might realize you have been in a box for too long. Perspective is the reason why two people who are going through the same issue, don't feel the same way, the reason why some people are happier than others. I recently saw a movie about a coach of a running team motivating his runners and he said to them " when your running up that hill and going through so much pain, about to quit, remember the guy in front of you is going through a whole lot of pain and who ever gets to the finish line is who is strong enough to bear that pain. Their perspective changed after that and they were ready to go through the pain with a smile on their face. Change your perspective and everything around you begins to change, Sometimes you cant change the things happening around you, but for sure one thing you can change is how you feel about them. Life is all about addition and also subtraction. We are happy when something new happens to us, a new car, a new house, a new spouse, a new job, a new business opportunity, we all want the additions of life. What if all we need to do to be happy is subtract, let go off that job and relationship that don’t serve you, let go off those friends that don’t add value to us, let go off that bad habit that is doing more harm than good, we can all try another perspective. Change your perspective, Change your world…