May your Friday sparkle...

Dear Friday, where the hell have you been? Its been a long ass week and I have been wondering if your ever going to show up. You feel so distant most times and it really hurts you take so much time to show up; the good thing is you always show up, at least its better late than never. I have decide to put the long wait behind me and give you a very warm welcome. Now am really curious about what you have for me, but but before you show up and start bossing me around, let me first give you a heads up on my expectations, just in case you have time to make changes. First of all I want to wear a big smile when I see you, that means you have to show up looking right, no bad weather and things like that, yea! Cool. Secondly I have a lot planned out for you, like black Friday shopping, but your allowed to tag along and please try not to disrupt my day; No unpleasant surprises, its my first black Friday ever so try not to mess things up. Thirdly I have one thing on my list, I really want to get, so try and make it available at a very good deal. To be specific I want a canon digital camera, to enable me start my picture album. Finally, this one is really important, help me stay within my budget, Please...Biko...in any language you understand. You know that saying "Money looks better in the bank than on your feet'. So afterwards you can let me in on your own plans, OK? This cant be too much to ask for. Am counting on you

Regards,

Me

P.S Just to wish you a wonderful Friday, may it sparkle as much as you want

Life 101.......

Life is a mystery, life is a wonder, life is a journey to an unknown destination. Just like every normal journey, its either a bad experience or a good experience, any which one of them has something to teach you. You will learn the hard way or the easy way. I have learnt quite a lot and am still learning. I want to share 10 life lessons I have learnt so far...

• Life is not fair, but its still good: Life is not fair and we all know this. I don't know why and am not in the position to ask questions. So I will just sit tight and enjoy the ride. Am reading a book by Sophia Amoruso #Girlboss, she said " I had friends who were supported by their parents and I was totally envious. It seemed unfair to me that some kids were able to do what they wanted, while I spend my afternoons at a costume shop, helping "burners" find their google and stupid hats for burning man. However forcing me to provide for myself was the best thing my parents ever did for me". Life doesn't present us all the same opportunity, but you can take advantage of the inequality and make something out of it.
• Expect nothing from people: We often have high expectations from people, especially people you have helped in one way or the other, I mean, why not? After all they say to whom much is give, much more is expected. But trust me if your in this School of thought, you will get disappointed more often than not. People are different and you have to respect that, expect little or nothing to avoid being disappointed. If they fail you, you feel normal, if they Wow you, even better.
• Nobody cares about what you do, more than half the time they are busy with their own life: The thought of being judged or talked about has kept a lot of people from living their life the way they want or being with who they love. The honest truth nobody really cares about what you do, they are busy with their life's. Don't get me wrong, every now and then they take a sneak peak into your life to know if the party flopped or is still going on and off they are back to their own thing. Don't let them keep you down...
• Don't spend a lot of time on horizontal friendship: Horizontal friendship is what I call friendship for just companionship, the type that has absolutely nothing to teach and offer you, but only helps you kill boredom. Have them, but not a lot of them and don't invest time and energy into them. Focus on friendship that has something to offer (Vertical friendship). Just visualize a horizontal or vertical line in your head , that will help you understand better.
• Strangers will build up your walls: Isaiah 60:10. I found this scripture after I learnt this lesson, then it made more sense to me. Most times the most significant help comes from the outside, from people you barely know. Familiar people are more skeptical about helping you, for reasons best known to them, half the time the reasons are selfish.
• Somethings are more important than winning: Yes, I realized that somethings are more important than my Ego. A lot of people are shortsighted and can't see beyond their front door, all they can think about is the now and how they want to stay on top of their game at the expense of really important things or people. A good name is better than winning, making your family happy is better than winning, a good friend is better than winning. We all love to win, but know when to draw the line.
• You are responsible for the way you feel: I used to think a good pedicure was the cure to anything, until I had one after a bad quiz. Once I was very excited about something and I picked up my phone and called my best friend to tell her about it, but once she picked up she didn't sound very friendly and at my end that messed up the whole excitement for me. I felt bad but guess what she was having a bad day, everyone does. It was my expectations that made me feel the way i felt. The way you feel is entirely up to you. When people upset you or make you sad, it make be as a result of failed expectation or what you were thinking. You are responsible for the way you feel, keep your expectation in check and your feelings by default will be in check. 
• Follow your Head not your Heart: The heart is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17: 9). When you start seeing signs he may have fallen out of love with you, thats your head being rational. When you start making excuses for him, like maybe his just busy, thats definitely your heart. Everyone would say follow your heart, it knows you better than anyone else, True? But I advocate for the head because its more rational and fair in thinking. Those two voices in your head all the time is your Head and your Heart, in constant power tussle. Use your head more often. Thank me later.
• Your thoughts create your reality: Ever heard of the law of attraction, if not you need to read about that. What you focus on becomes your reality. This lesson is more mysterious than you can imagine. I set aside a little time every day for positive thinking, just visualizing everything that can go right with my life, and thinking less of all that has gone wrong.
• Love is not enough: So am going to end with this Love is not enough, Yes truly it not. Having butterflies is not all there is to last you in a relationship. Have you ever met someone you really cared about but can't stay happy under one roof, cant have a decent conversation without arguing. Thats incompatibility. Love is great but not without compatibility, attraction, finance etc FILL IN THE BLANK SPACES

THANKS FOR READING TILL THE END.....

Does your Passion seem distant or out of reach?

We have attributed Passion to be the thing to reach out for when searching for our career and life's work. Every time I hear someone say "All you have to do is follow your passion and everything will be fine", I pause, take a pen and a paper and write down a few things am passionate about. After that I go through it and realize am passionate about quite a number of things and this leaves me more confused than I was. I have wanted to be so many things at different stages in my life. The first thing I ever wanted to be was a News Caster because, I read morning news through out my primary school days and I was so good at memorizing and presenting stuff, as a teenager I wanted to be an actress and after that a lawyer, but after my dream of being a lawyer was killed, I gave up and settled for what ever was in front of me. Am going to stop her because this topic is not about me, but am just trying to emphasize on the fact that things we want to be changes from time to time, especially when you haven't made up your mind on exactly what you want to do or "What your passionate about". Everybody says follow your passion, which makes sense if you know exactly what it is. But the reality is most people don't know what they are passionate about, some have multiple passion and some are going through a mid life change of passion. Being passionate is great and it helps us enjoy what we do, but it doesn't enhance creativity or help you discover yourself. Passion doesn't create a new movie, a new song, a new book, a new idea, a new recipe, Curiosity does.

"Curiosity is the engine of achievement" - Ken Robinson

Curiosity they say kills the cat but I say curiosity is the mother of all invention.Your curious when you want to know a lot of things about a particular thing. Curiosity is when you become a scavenger about something your interested in. I once read a book by Elizabeth Gilbert and how she followed her Curiosity about Gardening. Curiosity lead her to want to know more about the origin of the flowers she planted and she dogged deeper and deeper and it inspired her to write a novel The Signature of All Things. When your passion has bailed on you, curiosity is your best bet. Think of something you have even the smallest interest about and become a scavenger for any information you can lay your hands on about it. Sometimes it may lead you to something your passionate about, or it may not, but at least you get to learn something new. Curiosity has lead to some of the most amazing inventions, careers and ideas . Curiosity can lead you to amazing unexpected places. Follow your Passion if you have one, if not follow your Curiosity and trust it.

Weekends are the Ham in the Hamburger..........

Am sure you agree with me that weekends are the best part of the week. After a whole week of joggling the job, kids, school and other important stuff, you finally get your two days off to focus on your self and your family. Am sorry if you work on weekends because you maybe missing out on what I call, because of lack of the right words "two days of wonder". I call it the ham in the hamburger because those two days are amazing and without them you can imagine how life would be working round the clock,*Imagine hamburgers without ham*. It makes up for the pasts weeks activities and reliefs you of the stress accumulated and makes you ready for whats to come on Monday. Weekends are like glucose, it gives you energy for the next week's task. Naturally taking a break off anything, gives you extra zeal to go on. Weekends come with an elevated feeling of freedom, it almost feels like a prison break. Weekends are good for you and you need to maximize and explore them every chance you get. Free times are important to help you relax and boost your mind. Below are some helpful tips for a relaxing weekend

1. Make a plan: 

Am sure your wondering why on earth do I need to plan my weekend. You need to plan in other to make it worth the while. Except your week is a bit flexible and you find time to do stuff, if not you need to put down a few things you want to do. I love fun spontaneous weekends, but they play out once in a while, so you can't hope something fun is going to come up, you need to make something fun happen.

2. Meet up with friends:

So everybody is busy during the week and find time only on weekends. So you can plan to meet up with your friends, have a drink, see a movie, go swimming or something. You can even play host and invite friends over for food and drinks, in order to catch up on happenings. This is without a doubt always fun

3.Avoid drinking too much Alcohol: 

So this is what happens, thanks to "Thank God its Friday". You party on a Friday night, trying to maximize your weekend, get drunk and the rest of your weekend it messed up. Too much alcohol makes you spend most of the next day in bed and this ruins your time off. Except off cos you plan to spend you weekend in bed. Thats fun too....

4. Catch up time: 

So you can also catch up on personal stuff. This is where you decide to either get your hair or nails done, personal shopping, catching up on your hobby, watching movies at home, video games or reading a book.

5. Miscellaneous: 

So another fun thing to do is "Miscellaneous", that is anything you want to do considered to be fun for you. Something you know that is relaxing or fulfilling for you. e.g exercise, church, grocery, boo time, bae time, football or trust me anything you can think of falls under this...

Weekends go quickly, only about 60hours...Make it count

Broken Crayons still colour.....

Ever heard that phrase before? "Broken Crayons still colour" Am sure! I came across a picture that had that phrase on it and I stopped and pondered on it for a little while. What a powerful phrase! what a soothing phrase! what a healer! Thinking about it just melts my heart. And it opened me up to more possibilities. That Phrase reeks of hope and it gave life a meaning again. My point is your stronger than you think, you just don't know it, because there is still room for you to be weak. Your still beautiful, you can still live your dreams, you are going to be well again, your going to find love again. Broken but still beautiful, broken but still strong, broken but still can colour. Early this year I met this amazing little girl at a friends daughters birthday party, she came to me and wanted me to help her with her colouring book, apparently most of her crayons were broken, it was uncomfortable I couldn't use it but this little girl could colour with it, because she understood that her crayons were broken but they still worked, they still coloured, something I couldn't understand. Don't worry about how many times you've been rejected, or how many times you've been laughed at. Its only your Ego that is broken, your soul is still in tact and waiting to make your life colourful. Just like a broken Crayon, the painting may not be perfect, you may struggle trying to align the blunt Crayon to the edges of the drawing, but as you keep colouring, the edges get sharper and soon you can align the edges of your painting. Broken by some situation, but there is someone out there waiting to be coloured by you, by your smile, by your presence or even your ideas. There's no perfect situation in life, don't wait for that perfect timing, it may never come. With your head up and your shoulders high, paint yourself with those little pieces you taught of discarding.

Should you play hard to get or just be straight forward?

I remember the old school strategy "Play hard to get", this approach was useful in the past when men were less complicated and more transparent. But things have changed and men have become more difficult to understand. Thats why women need to be flexible and approach this differently. Playing hard to get works sometimes but it might not be the best strategy, because all it does is make him want you. Playing hard to get builds a burning desire of want, depending on the the degree of his want. The cat and mouse strategy only makes him want you, it doesn't make him like you any more than his initial intention. Its like window shopping and finding a shoe you like, the moment you realize you cant have it due to your budget only makes you want it more. Every time you see it your desire for it continues to grow, doesn't mean you like it more than the first time you saw it. You will only be able to differentiate this feeling after you have gotten that shoe, and after you have worn it once or twice, only then will you know how much you liked it anyway. Making a man want you for so long might not be the best way to discover if he really likes you. Playing hard to get has different effect on different emotions, thats why it may or may not be the best strategy. Being straight forward and being yourself may or may not be a better strategy, this is why. Men like women who are nice to them, being straight forward with them will make you likeable and real and will make him trust you. Being straight forward here might be showing him you feel the same way or showing him your not on the same page with him. Regardless of what the outcome of your being straight forward is, he will consider you to be a good person, at least for being honest and not making him waste his time.
Succeeding with any of this strategies depends on the intention, emotion and understanding of the guy in question. I recommend being yourself any day, any time and finding who loves you for who you are...........

Where do broken hearts go?

Where do broken hearts go? Some crawl right back into their shell, where they feel safe and protected. where they can nurture the pain, where they can heal fast without being noticed. where the memories of the past will be erased with time.

Where do broken hearts go? Some wander into the desert, lost and confused. Sinking in the sand every move they make, sad, hurt and drained of all their energy. Without a clue of how they got there, without a clue of what to do next. Walking and sinking, hoping someday someone comes to their rescue.

Where do broken hearts go. Some are too scared they build a wall. A wall so tall and thick every body else but them can see it. They don't know its there, but they spend the rest of their lives walking on egg shells.

Where do broken hearts go? Some get up dust their shirt and go right back into the field. They are willing to try again because they understand that love is a battle field. They are so brave and they know they are not getting what they want without a fight.

You become who, you spend most of your time with.....

Going down memory lane, you will realize most of the friends you made as a kid wasn't really out of choice. Some were because they lived right next to you, or may be they sat right next to you in class and you really didn't have much of a choice, but some were out of having similar interest in may be football or something. But as you grew up, things began to change, your sense of style, career, the kind or movies and songs you love, but most especially your direction in life began to change, most times completely different from that of your friends and loved ones. This will mean changing who you surround yourself with. As your life begins to take a new turn, you need to update your friendship software, making sure you surround yourself with the right people. This is not being selfish, and am not saying do away with people who care about you,but for the purpose of growth spend more time with people who help you grow. Its more like being the best you can be in other to be that person they can learn from. I often hear people say the most important resource in the world is money, but I say the most important resource in the world is People and I mean quality people, people you can learn from, people who are not afraid to tell you your doing something wrong. Some of you have friends who are drop dead loyal to you and to them your perfect. You need a critic, someone who will not hesitate to let you know your wrong and help with ways you can do things better. Spend time with people who are insightful, that way you start to think like them.You become who you spend most of your time with. You need to stay away from negative, unhappy and insecure people, the energy that comes from those kind of people are very contagious and in no time,you begin to feel and think like them. Think about who you want to become put that person in one corner of the table, put the people you spend most of your time with on the opposite corner and try to make a connection. The type you make when your trying to connect a charger to a socket. If you have the wrong charger, for the wrong socket, there cant be a fit. Don't pack the wrong bag for the right journey.
Identify five people who are already living the life you want, people with the traits you are trying to develop, they may be close or they may be far and unaccessible. If they are accessible spend your time with them, and leverage on their ideas. Be a good listener around them. If they are not accessible you can learn something new from them by either watching their movies, reading their books or just doing a research about them.
Romantic partners affect you more than anyone else, find the right one, who will move you forward and not hold you back. You don't have the power to choose the family your born into, but you have the power to choose who you spend most of your time with. Choose wisely!